We lost our souls. We did. Did we ever have one? For real? Right now, in this moment I don’t believe we ever had one. Maybe we were born just with a hole inside. And cuz we felt it somehow, our being did, we’ve been trying hard to fill it up with everything, basically crap. And after tryin and tryin and still feelin empty, frustration came and realizing that we can’t do anything about it, we just did what was easier: wrong. That’s how we are. We are worse than animals. And now I remember my friend’s lyric in a verse: “I look for humans, I find animals that talk”. Never sounded truer. Being handicapped, spiritually unable to grow we start acting worse than animals. How is that possible? How is it possible that we in grow? How can we know what we are, and what we are capable to do and refuse it and worse, acting backwards? From a human turning into less than an animal? Right now, at this point, animals do have more soul than we do.
I am ashamed. They killed an innocent guy. A person in my country, in a town, literally punched a guy to death. WHAT KIND OF NATION BRINGS OUT SUCH A MONSTER AND CALLS IT A HUMAN??? I am literally thinking of never coming back to that country or ever say again that I am from there. And I didn’t personally know the guy, I have never seen him. He spent 1 month in that damned country, and now he is dead. GOD!!! I hope the murderer has nightmares every day of his life and I hope he lives so he can relive every day of his life what he did. Relive that punch you applied every second of your life. Relive that guy’s death every second of your life and bear with it!!!
I had an amazing day in New York yesterday, my last New York. Didn’t wanna bring any clouds to my free day and I enjoyed everything, as I love that place and I entered this ship and I read. And I read, and I say: they killed the guy. I didn’t realize for about 2 hours. I came back and I read again. I couldn’t believe it. A guy went to a damned club, in a damned city and country and few hours later he died. You understand, it’s unreal!!! It seems unreal! A punch destroyed a life, just washed it away, just like that, like it was some sand on a beach, and left a family you know nothing about, they never did anything to you, they never heard of you or your shitty world ever! and with that damned punch – I hope you visualize it and feel it in your head everyday of your life – the whole basketball Romanian world turned dark and us again in the whole damn world, we are damned, with a damned punch. You understand? You understand, unhuman? A punch. A damn punch. What kind of nation do I come from?
I have never met the guy, but I am in love with basketball. One of the main reasons I live. Because when I am there in that court nothing else matters. Happiness is touched. If I am dead 6 months at work, it takes me 2 hours in a basketball court and I am brought to life. I love all those guys, beside my team, CSM Oradea, all those great guys I appreciate them the most. The only thing I am dyin here without is my basketball team, and the court, and beside that I have a great respect for the basketball players. I love them all, they are my soul. And as these people are part of my soul, that monster killing Chauncey, he killed a part of my soul too, beside brutalizing for life his family and beloved ones, the whole basketball world, he unbalanced the whole Universe. Cuz you can’t do something like this, without paying for it. I hope you crawl every day of your life. I hope you never sleep, ever!
Since yesterday, I’m crying, I’m praying, I hope for justice, and I’m trying hard not to try to understand why this thing happened, because I am goin crazy. I am with fear in my voice questionin myself what would have I done if it was one of my friends? I would have died, I would have thrown myself in the ocean, I don’t know, I don’t want to imagine, so I have no idea what his beloved ones are passing thru. GOD, please take care of the guys and keep them in your arms. For Chauncey’s family: God may heal your soul! I know, nothing, but 0, will heal you, nothing will give you his life back, I am sorry, I apologize, I am ashamed I come from a country that took your beloved one’s life. I wish I was never born there. I know this doesn’t help, nothing does now, I know that very well, I have no idea what you guys are passing thru, but I am praying for healing for your souls and I hope Chauncey will rest in peace!
One of my principles in life is that everything has to be balanced. If it’s not, then, there’s no sense. I’ve got no sense, and the world either. And if that’s true, then there’s no point in anything. So why are we here then? Definitely we are not here to kill each other. Definitely we are not here to kill innocent young people. I do know this is not the 1st crime in the world. But there is in my world. In my world is peace and harmony. There’s love for basketball that brings you closer to the sky, there’s love for those amazing guys that make you fly! In my world, there’s no crime! There’s no wrong, there’s sunshine! We are human beings, cuz we got soul! How in the world can you have your eyes open and your soul shut down? Refuse to be called a human being. You are not. You are a monster!
I pray for justice. I pray for balance. I hope there will be one day, that one day when Chauncey’s soul will be able to rest in peace. I will pray for that every day! I have never seen you, man, but you are a soul, and I will always fight for justice of the souls. Cuz we are born free, a soul is born free, and nothing can enslave it or kill it. I have no good feelings left or manners to wish for that guy to be saved, for his soul to be saved for what he did. I know there’s no explanation, or justification for what he did. I think it shouldn’t be any trial. No excuses! You took a life, you pay! But unfortunately we live in an unfair world. It doesn’t matter, you can’t take the pain back, you can’t live those people’s life that have to bear every day of their lives without him, there’s no substitution, but there is justice somewhere, if not today, tomorrow, or the next lifetime. I have to believe in that, because if I don’t, there’s no tomorrow anymore!
Rest in peace my soul brother. We are brothers and sisters in this huge universe, where instead of loving ourselves and be grateful that we are blessed with each other, we kill ourselves. Today is a day when I am ashamed I am called a human being, and that I come from a country that killed an innocent basketball player, and with that a part of my world. I live thru basketball. I live thru that amazing love. You can’t kill the love. It brings us life, you understand? Chauncey will live forever in a place he doesn’t have to deal with murderers, he will be an Angel and he will fly on a basketball court waiting for us all to laugh one more time, on the court that will bring us the last time to Heaven.
RIP Chauncey Hardy
feelinasoul
